Book Ponder

People always look for ways to be held accountable to achieve their goals; what if all they had to do was look internally?

What better person to hold you accountable than yourself?

The Power of Internal Credibility

This is where a strategy called the “Debt of Honor” succeeds. 

As I was reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, she talked about a strategy her father taught her called a “Debt of Honor”.  She created a debt at the age of 60 that she would reach one million published words, and twelve years later she still chips away at that goal.  She advises making a debt to your future self like a payment you owe.  

It may feel like arrogance to put yourself above all else, but you are using this strategy in the sense of improving your life; it isn’t directly affecting others negatively. No one even needs to know; this is just an agreement you have with yourself.   The reason why having the debt to yourself works is that you can’t run away from yourself.  You are always here, holding yourself accountable, reminding yourself of the payment you owe.  

Your Own Camera Crew

There is a strategy people use for self-improvement where they pretend they are the main character in a documentary, and they constantly ask themselves what they would do right now if everyone were watching.   If there were a film crew following you around, you would probably be on your best behavior at all times and be making the correct decisions because you don’t want to look bad in front of your friends and family.  

The debt of honor substitutes the need for a constant audience watching what you do but gives you the same benefit of holding yourself accountable; you already have a first-row seat to everything you do and are ready to judge and criticize yourself.  You have more power to hold yourself accountable than anyone else. 

It’s all about accountability.  Start small.  One promise I can think of that you can start today is to promise yourself you will practice better sleep hygiene.  It can be to not use your phone in bed and read a book instead.  Promise yourself you will do it just for one night.  If you sleep better and wake up with more energy, you will be encouraged to continue practicing this habit.  

Pick something you can do today.

Small Promises Scale Over Time

I’ll list some examples of promises from the past and how they have evolved to what they are today.

15 years ago, I promised myself I would read 10 minutes a day, which eventually progressed to 30 minutes a day; now I have a more structured promise of 1000 pages a month, and I increase it by 100 pages every year. 

Some debts can change or start over depending on life circumstances.  When I started this website 5 years ago, I promised myself to publish a new post every week.  Eventually I felt like my writing quality was suffering and spent two years reading and researching again before getting back to writing. Recently I promised to finish at least one writing project this month, and eventually work my way up to one a week.  Life can bring us back to the drawing board; just make sure you are still trending in the right direction. 

A few years ago I promised myself to start lifting weights and doing some sort of cardiovascular exercise twice a week.  Once I began to enjoy working out and making my own programs, my routine evolved to something more advanced. Today, I promise myself not to skip a workout unless certain circumstances make it detrimental to my health, like being sick or a family emergency.  

These are just some of the few promises I have to myself; some of them started small and have evolved to something more challenging.  

Contracting with Your Future Self

Be specific with what you want in your life in all areas and build goals that bring you closer to where you want to be.  Once you have that down in writing, you can begin to hold yourself accountable with debts of honor.  No one else is going to push you as you can push yourself. 

Any journey towards improving your life is difficult; be the hardest person to impress, but also become your own biggest supporter. 

Start small, honor your debts, and continue improving. 

What is one small promise you’ve been making to yourself but you keep breaking?  What’s one aspect of your life you think can benefit from the debt of honor? I read and respond to every email or comment; I’d love to hear from you. 

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Book Ponder focuses on the incredible power of reading, and even though stand-alone articles like these are unique ideas, I like to credit any books that inspired me or gave me the resources for the idea.