The Unseen Journeys of Lost Friends

Have you ever had a childhood friend you lost touch with, and when you ran into them years later, they were changed entirely? Perhaps it was age, but there was something else you just couldn’t put your finger on. Perhaps their demeanor and confidence weren’t where you expected their life trajectory to take them. The more you catch up, the more you learn they overcame adversity that changed them.

Grant and Truman: Paths to Greatness

As an avid reader of biographies, I see this all the time; as you read along the early years of someone’s life, you can’t help but wonder how they eventually ended up as great people in history.

Two American heroes come to mind; the first is Ulysses S. Grant, who went from a Mexican-American War veteran down on bad times to the leading Union general in the Civil War to the eventual 18th President of the United States guiding the country post-civil war.

The other is Harry Truman, who went from being a shy boy working on his father’s farm, keeping his head down in awkward situations, to being a Captain during World War I and eventually becoming the 33rd President of the United States.

Grant: Forged by Adversity

Ulysses S. Grant battled alcoholism, betrayal, financial troubles, and constant hits on his pride and ego. Friends and comrades never thought Grant would amount to anything, but these years of adversity hardened him. When the South seceded from the Union, a fire was lit under Grant like never before. Lincoln put his faith in him, and that was all he needed to put all the lessons a problematic life had given him into action.

Grant scoffed at other West Point graduates who had everything handed to them. They never faced adversity like Grant did, giving him an advantage over most. While facing adversity, I bet Grant would have wished for an easier life, but once he was in the White House, he understood that the struggle had given him the skills to succeed.

Harry Truman: From Shy Boy to Steadfast Leader

Harry Truman was a good kid growing up in Independence, Missouri. He lived in a standard middle-class family and faced little adversity growing up. Deep down, Harry knew he had to toughen up and take risks to become his own man. With his big-rimmed glasses and some of the worst eyesight of anyone he knew, his friends and family scoffed at Harry joining the United States Army during World War I.

War completely changed Harry Truman. He found courage he didn’t know he had and worked his way up to Captain. Watching comrades die around him and not being sure if he would make it back home to see his wife and family changed him forever. No longer was he the shy boy who avoided confrontation.

Years later, as a Judge, Senator, Vice President, and President, he used his experiences from World War I to face the hardships of leadership head-on. He never allowed outside circumstances to change his demeanor and always focused on the task at hand. He truly emphasized the practice of controlling what you can control and controlling how you react to things outside your control.

“More important, he was not the same man who left for France only the year before. The change was astounding. He had new confidence in himself. He had discovered he could lead men and that he liked that better than anything he had ever done before. He found he had courage—that he was no longer the boy who ran from fights—and, furthermore, that he could inspire courage in others.”

David McCullough

Safely Embracing Adversity for Growth

The crucial question is, “How do we safely implement adversity in our lives?” Not all of us want to go to war, be poor, or experience tragedy, yet we all want the growth that comes from it.

For starters, this is especially difficult as a parent. Some of history’s most talented and influential people had a troubled childhood. Nobody wants to be a deadbeat parent to give our child a slight chance at success. Instead, we need to provide them with adversity by challenging them and not handing life to them on a silver platter. Make them earn whatever they want. Sports is the safest way to have your child face adversity. By facing pressure, experiencing failure, and dealing with unfairness, sports allow kids to grow in a secure environment.

Challenging Ourselves as Adults

What about as adults? Most of us have faced some adversity in our lives, but what if we are still kind of soft and fold under pressure? This is where challenging ourselves physically and mentally comes into play. We may still play competitive sports, but for most adults, that’s not feasible; we can still try to be as fit as possible in our circumstances. Becoming strong, fast, or agile and constantly challenging yourself to improve will give you growth from adversity.

In a professional sense, challenge yourself in your career. Apply for a position with more responsibility; don’t stay comfortable in the same job you’ve had for the past few years.

Challenging yourself mentally can mean getting outside your comfort zone and trying new things. Learn a new skill, read a challenging book, and find something to be proficient in. So many things will give us growth and challenge us, and typing this gets me excited just thinking about it. There is no better feeling than putting in the time and getting good at something..it can be anything.

The more you overcome challenges, the better you will get at everything in life, and things that used to get you down or intimidate you will feel irrelevant.

Adversity has generated greatness in many people in history, and I hope it can help unlock some of it in you.

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